The Taffy Pullers
Stud-Muffin*
Stud-Muffin and I have been together for over twenty years. He is an uber-geek, sans the pocket protector. He’s younger than me so I guess that makes me his cougar (by 11 months). He is my polar opposite. I’m an extrovert, and he’s an introvert. I’ve only lived in one state my whole life, and he’s lived all over the world. He loves red meat, and I’m a border-line pescatarian. He snores and I don’t (he swears that I do but, really, how would he hear me over all the racket he makes?). I have no clue how we ended up together. But he loves me, and I love him, and I guess that’s all that matters in the end, right?
Our Three Sons:
Robbie**
Robbie is my first-born. Nineteen years ago, he came into this world a month early. This was our first warning that he was not going to follow instructions well. He clearly took that whole stay-in-the-womb-for-40-weeks directive as a challenge to beat. He is quiet and reserved like Stud-Muffin, but has an off-the-chart IQ that he clearly got from his mother! He is a card-carrying member of Mensa. Robbie is very funny in his own right. I can’t wait to see where life takes him.
Chip**
Chip is the middle son, at age 16. He is proud that he is currently the tallest of the three boys. His superior height, however, has its downsides. Being the son of a mother who never quite made it to five-foot tall, he often finds himself getting the stuff that I can’t reach. He lovingly calls me T-Rex because of my short arms. Chip is in high school in the AP/Honors curriculum. I can’t wait to see him soar!
Ernie**
Ernie is the baby at age 14. He is my Renaissance man. Ernie loves to read, draw, write, and especially loves the stage. He has made me a “stage door mom” with all the plays that he has been in. From a sprite in a Shakespeare’s Merry Wives of Windsor, to the role of God in a play about creation, to a zombie extra in the independent film Z*Con, he loves the stage. He attends a performing arts high school. One day I plan to have front row Broadway seats any time I want them!
The Ancient One
The Ancient One was my mother who passed away on January 25, 2016. She was 87 years old, feisty, and independent to a fault. She was the bologna in my “sandwich years.” Some days she was a full-time job. You never know what would come out of her mouth next. The guy who writes “Shi*t My Dad Says“ and I should have take our parents on the road. They’d have been a million dollar act. Although she is gone, she lives on in this blog.
The Ancient One, Jr.
The Ancient One, Jr. is my 71 year old sister whom I had to place in assisted living this year. She was the very early child, and I was the late life child, of our parents. We are 21 years apart (which she tells everyone she meets. Twice.) (And stop doing the math to figure out how old I am). My mother repeatedly promised to haunt me after she died. She is keeping good on that promise by living on through my sister who has no filter. You never know what is going to come out of her mouth, or bra for that matter, at any given moment. If Mom was the bologna in my “sandwich years,” my sister is the pastrami.
* Sadly not his real name. But how cool would that be? He’s shy and made the mistake of marrying a woman who is absolutely not.
** Not their real names. I figure since I’ll be talking about them I better shield their privacy a bit. I need at least one of them to take care of me in my old age. Someone has to make sure I don’t wear too much blush or bedazzled tracksuits.