Tag: Parenting

Today’s Taffy Pull: Hands off My Cupcake Shower Gel

An Open Letter to the Possessors of a Y Chromosome in My House:

Which ocupcakene of you studs used up all of MY Beauty Smoothie Buttercream Cupcake 3-in-1 Shower Gel/Bubble Bath/Shampoo from Ulta?! You went through twenty-four ounces in less then a week! Don’t pretend that you didn’t know it was mine. There are cute  stylized cupcakes on the bottle, and it smells good enough to eat. Does showing up for soccer practice smelling like a bakery help your game? Or maybe you want to stand out at your ALL boys’ school? Possibly the girl you like is PMSing and you thought you would seem more attractive smelling like comfort food? Or, maybe when you’re sitting at work in your cubicle, you sniff the crook of your elbow and think of me?

Is it asking too much that I could have something feminine in this den of testosterone? But nooooooo! I had to use the Irish Spring body wash I bought so that you could smell like manly men. And, contrary to the advertising campaign, I do not like it, too.

So here I sit, smelling very butch, and you’re somewhere needing sprinkles.

There is a support group for everyone . . .

100_1901Archived from my old blog.

. . . but for parents who are too cheap to throw their kids a decent birthday party? Gimme a break!

Yes, Dear Readers, a group of parents have formed “Birthdays Without Pressure” because they think children’s birthday parties are getting out of control. I guess if you can’t keep up with the Jones you make them feel like bad parents!

I happen to be one of those bard parents who enjoy throwing my kids a fun, interesting birthday party. We have jumped for joy at Pump It Up!, pet a python at the Safari Place, had a pirate hunt for treasure, made green eggs and ham for a Dr. Seuss party, had a magician with rabbit, and a mad scientist in my home showing kids how to make their own slime, as well as two parties at ExploraWorld.

But do I look down my nose at the parents’ who throw simpler parties? Of course not. You do what you can/want to do. I had a nurse tell me when I was in the hospital after giving birth to #1 son, “it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks, as long as you know you did your best, at the end of the day that’s all that matters.” Of course, it was two o’clock in the morning when she delivered that advice.  We were both staring at my bared breast, frustrated as to why #1 Son wouldn’t latch on.  She was trying to tell me I that wouldn’t be a bad mother for giving up breastfeeding . . . but I digress . . . The point is, as parents we do what feels right for us.

So to the parents who formed Birthdays Without Pressure, I say, “Just because you didn’t get the clown you so desperately wanted on your ninth birthday, or your parents didn’t rent out the Disco-Skate-O-Rama on your thirteen birthday, don’t take it out on everyone else!”