Today’s Taffy Pull: Hands off My Cupcake Shower Gel
September 5, 2015
An Open Letter to the Possessors of a Y Chromosome in My House:
Which one of you studs used up all of MY Beauty Smoothie Buttercream Cupcake 3-in-1 Shower Gel/Bubble Bath/Shampoo from Ulta?! You went through twenty-four ounces in less then a week! Don’t pretend that you didn’t know it was mine. There are cute stylized cupcakes on the bottle, and it smells good enough to eat. Does showing up for soccer practice smelling like a bakery help your game? Or maybe you want to stand out at your ALL boys’ school? Possibly the girl you like is PMSing and you thought you would seem more attractive smelling like comfort food? Or, maybe when you’re sitting at work in your cubicle, you sniff the crook of your elbow and think of me?
Is it asking too much that I could have something feminine in this den of testosterone? But nooooooo! I had to use the Irish Spring body wash I bought so that you could smell like manly men. And, contrary to the advertising campaign, I do not like it, too.
So here I sit, smelling very butch, and you’re somewhere needing sprinkles.